The Need to Be Needed

I have always been a control freak. I am not good at delegating. I believe I am the chosen one! I feel I have points to make in a meeting or a discussion that will influence the outcome. This makes me fiercely competitive and arrogant. In short, I have a strong “need to be needed”. As bad as all this sounds, this trait has helped me stand out of any crowd and be a perfectionist. But it is quite counterproductive when you are leading a team.

As a manager, you have to put faith in your team and let them make decisions in your absence. You have to trust your peers and work towards the common goal. You need people to work with you, for you, and not think of you as a complete asshole.

So when I realised all this, I had to find a way to work around it. Now every time I have to make a decision about getting involved in a project, a meeting, or any decision-making process, I ask myself, “Do I have knowledge or a specific set of skills that will be of use here?” If the answer is no, I  don’t have to be a part of that task. But, if  the answer is yes, then I ask myself, “Is there someone who has the same set of skills?” If there is, then he/she can take my place. If not, then and only then will I have to be a part of it.

Now this ‘if loop’ does not come into play when it is something new that I would like to learn. It is only a method to keep me from taking too much on my plate. 


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